Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Let's establish some ground rules.

Okay, so Facebook has once again "improved" their layout (whatever happened to "if its not broke, don't fix it"?). It now appears that we will all be able to see not only what everyone is doing every single second, but also which activities are deemed most popular. Yaaay!?

claps for Facebook!

That being said, lets go ahead and review some Facebook etiquette:

1. I know it has been said a lot lately (my friend Liz Eagle had a pretty funny post on it). But for the love of cheese and rice, enough with the "Nine out of ten people won't repost that they love Jesus..." and "Everyone is dying of such and such disease, so repost this for awareness...". Particularly awful are the cryptic statuses about what color your bra is. Seriously, enough is enough. Jesus does not care about my Facebook status, of this I know. Facebook is a place to tell us what you are doing or how you are feeling. Not for you to tell everyone else what to do and feel.

2. Now, about your feelings. I enjoy reading about  ramblings onpolitical and ESPN-related thoughts. It gives me insight and helps me see things differently. It's okay to tell us you had a bad day at work or that you're having the best day ever because you just scored $300 worth of groceries for $.15. These are acceptable, shareable emotions. The fact that you hate your baby daddy, your boss is a total retard, or your best friend slept with yo man are not. Your drama is making my head hurt.

3. I am not even going to ask that you speak English. Just speak some semblance of a language. "If you do dis n den u say dat, itz annoying to read, ya herd?"

4. No one believes that your name is James Igotthesickestflow McDonald. So, just stop. Seriously. (I really do automatically defriend these people when I see this happening. Someone has to make a stand.)

5. We get it. You love your man. Your girlfriend is the best thing that has ever happened to you. Blah blah. Stop posting it on each other's walls every 15 minutes, look up from your phones and tell each other in person. Recognize that your Facebook interactions appear on everyone's mini-feed and sort of makes us all want to throw up in our mouths.

5. Lastly, we all do annoying things. I post an obscene amount of pictures of my kid. I could give you some excuse about how I started uploading them to Facebook to clear memory from my phone...but really, you don't care about my excuses. And I don't care about yours. So, if I do something annoying--go ahead and defriend me/take me off your feed. Now, I will be exercising the same right. Don't ask me to be your friend again repeatedly. And if we are friends in real life and you ask "did you see my post about blah blah" and I give you a blank stare...well, sorry. I just couldn't take one more picture of you posing in your bathroom mirror. No hard feelings. Sometimes (*gasp*) people make better real-life friends than Internet friends!

Lets meet at the park and discuss. :)


  1. I love you Jamie!! This was SO perfect!!!!

  2. ahhhhh shit. dat was da bom. girl u iz so cuh-razy. i is neva gone tak u up out mah feed.